Political Bloviation

Somebody straighten me out here. Are all women just flat out, balls to the walls, incurably insane? Are high levels of estrogen toxic? I begin to think so. I’m losing hope here. I’m not a bad guy. I’m not hideous to look at. I don’t yell and scream unless you really go out of your way to provoke me. I’m slow to anger and perhaps too quick to forgive inexcusable behavior. I’ve fallen in love a time or two in my life and had my teeth kicked down my throat each and every time.

I don’t ask for much. I was hoping I had found someone that I could trust, give my heart to and feel safe. It doesn’t feel that way right now. There are moments when I feel a “fuck off” uncompromising white hot alpha male anger and just want to slowly kill her with a pair of eyebrow tweezers. And then seconds later, there are times when the voice of the thirteen year old in my head asks tearfully. “why doesn’t she love me.” God damn it I hate feeling that naked vulnerability then feeling like I’ve been fucked over, again.

I just don’t like it when someone goes out of their way to hurt me. I make my mistakes and I can admit them. But I don’t try to be hurtful.

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